DANGER! Israelis parking here!

3 05 2011

here are many rumors, stereotypes and prejudices about Israeli drivers. I’m here to tell you they are all true. Today we shall explore the Israeli method of parking. Its an art, not an exact science, meaning those painted white lines evenly spaced in the parking lots here are considered by the driving public to be, well, “suggestions.” Creative parking is what I’ll generously call it, an art form so lacking in nuance but some how still transcendent (as in transcending any logic) that words cannot adequately describe the phenomenon. For that, visual evidence is required.

Last week we went shopping at a mall in Nazareth Ilit. Parking spaces were hard to find. The lot didn’t look full, but there weren’t any spaces available. What sort of violation of the laws of physics and nature was going on here? Doing some (very) elementary detective work, I took a bunch of photos, which I present to you for your personal examination:

Exhibit #1: Note the ever slight deviation across the line. They call it here "creating facts on the ground."

Exhibit #2: The one on the left is a driving instructor!

Exhibit #3: Note the astute angle, the subtle statement, the invitation to keying the paint job...

Exhibit #4: No comment.

Exhibit #5: Look at THIS jerk! No consideration whatsoever. What kind of arrogant, self-centered person would park like this? What a nut job.

Okay, so this last photo needs some s’plaining. Yes, that’s, ah, my car, and yes, I did, er, come over the line a little bit and boy! was I surprised when I got back from the store. There is only one possible rational explanation (or better to call it an “explanatory rationalization”?) and here it is:

While I was inside shopping, the ground under my car shifted to the left.

The end.

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